[last post]
asked my dad to advise.. he says NUS or SMU. *argh*... then i argued back i rather go SMU.
after seeking even higher levels of spiritual/god's help to zhi dian mi jin... all is pointing to SMU.
mmmm.... so howzzZ??Z?Z?Z?Z?Z? argh...
like wat i told wendy mum... my fight is betwn a comfort zone, and a challenge for the 3-4 yrs ahead...
it's hard to make a decision cos it involves the emotional being... to be with friends tt u noe, esp, those tt u noe well.. OR making new frens, new company, total new environment..


betwn the 2..
1.1academic... NTU: 3 yr direct honours. SMU: 3+1 yr
1.2 NTU: more lecture-tutorial style... SMU: damn lots of projects n watever not.
1.3 SMU are full of projects and presentation! my weakness....
2. internship opp... same for both since it's compulsory.
3. environment... NTU: more cheena... feel more comfy... SMU: more angmoh.. more elitism place.. more angmoh....more not my character....
4. place of study... NTU: west, SMU: central..
5. job prospect... so far stats have shown, inclining the scale to SMU.
6. end product... NTU: juz the usual students with the skills... SMU: more suited for jobs immediately... more creative...
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ARGH.......... i still haf 1 mth to tink abt it..
[post after]
mm... n i noe received my posting for NUS.. also Accountancy. diaoz...
After seeking spiritual help, it didnt come to a conclusive response as well.z -_-'
the fight is still betw NTU and SMU... mmm... let me think for a mth.....
[post before]
mm... juz got my posting for SMU. i gotten an offer for Accountancy too. mmm.. howz? juz when i thot there was no more chance.....
ani 1 can help me w making a choice betw SMU and NTU a/c??!?!?!?! *seems like i wld rule out NUS* heard 1 of my mum's fren's son got his posting liaoz.. diaoz..
jiu ming ah....

dear seah is back frm germany! *clap clap* had lunch with her and the rest (jy, sk, steph, lyd, kenny) n had a crap session n the 'seminar' tt seah held..heez...quite an ear-opener la=)..then crapped till 6+ then decided to come my house downstairs to stone awhile... haha.. the rest had liqour and we played scamble. doink... i hate the security guards at my condo! they r so argh...
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recent addiction to msn games... cos of the bo liao life tt i am leading...+ the TV shows or rather HK drama TV shows...i nd more money to complete my FILE OF JUSTICE Collection! ~sigh~
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mm... o..receive my letter of offer for NTU. ACCOUNTANCY! yeah~~**clap clap** i also so scared tt i prayed in front of guan yin before i went to open the letter heez. paiseh la... cos was so scared tt i had get biz w/o interview. heng ar~
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mm... quite sad to be giving lin junjie's party a miss... cos no 1 else i noe is possibly going? sigh~
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mmm... quite bo liao to go chu guo if i m just performing leh! doink... they mite not even need me.. i go for wat????? but it's ok... just tt it;s quite ma fan to carry all the performing stuff ard...haizz....
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mm...as i put in my msn nick. double happinesS? or maybe not? i will only noe after 10june. =)
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ok.. tink i m not making sense.... wonder if any1 bothers reading here. -sigh-.
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jumbled up thots tt i cannot iron out. save me some1.
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mm... quite glad to have noe 2 colleagues frm exel.. heez... hope the outing really is going to tk place la... quite feel like meeting them too....dun worry..they r both middle-aged females.. heez..motherly figures ba i shld say...took care of me during my 3 mths work there. =)
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mm..politics is wu suo bu zai, it's everywhere. esp prominent in some places/workplace/ppl. u can nv escape totally frm it. nv..
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seee wat i mean by jumbled up thots... the above entry explains how...
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hope all the apr batch of NS guys r doing fine..haha... their "first" supposed release after the good friday hols..haha.... guys do change alot after NS.
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all the best to seah! u can do it!=)
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i nd more money to buy more things! argh!
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had a conclusion tt i tink tt's just me tt is weird, ya? -the end- (wasting alot of space online.)

it has been ages since i blogged.
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mm. haf been doing quite a bit of reflections lately...just feeling quite sad tt ppl dun trust each other. n some ppl will be forgotten easily. like me. sidelined. or does the problem lies with me, avoiding the limelight all the time, hiding in 1 corner hoping no 1 noes abt me, and this is becomes a vicious cycle tt goes on and on? hw contradictory.
have been agn and agn been disappointed by the same _ _ _ how...**cries out loud**...


also..was watching this HK drama series "sui shi hou ming"the main actress Carrie was telling Ben abt what she saw on the National Geographic channels...tt animals are very active in displaying what they feel and how they think there and then to their counterparts. and out of some many animals...humans are the only animal or rather species that do not show how they are feeling to others like their friends or family members, only they themselves noe what they are thinking abt...and tt humans are actually capable of concealing all their thoughts and feelings so tightly tt it gets pretty scary and frustrating to ppl ard them..
**well...i have this sudden thot tt i mite just belong to this grp ba... i always keep my thots to myself lorz. then just be it. prob expression is my weakness... i m lacking of words to express myself this minute while i typing.... but in any case...my comments and my thots tend to be on the superficial type... i m not 1 tt think deep? tt explain the response of friends of mine..
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Essentially...i m still trying to find the true me. positioning myself again in the appropriate direction..seemed to haf lost tt sense of direction since p5.
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life has been quite monotonous ( did i spell it correctly, pardon my poor sense of eng). wake up, tv, reading, online, gaming. occasional exposure of skin for the Vit D tt i nd. tt's abt it. mmm...time for my butt to get moving.. haf enrolled for driving lessons and shiok shiok bked 8 lessons of practical till the end of june. haha. call me kia-su. this is how it goes. chances nv wait for man.
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mmm gotten back the habit of watching "Yu Le Bai Fen Bai" this few days...catched cao ge and Ma yi's first date episode..goodness.... cao ge is so damn shy can...haha...but he also quite qiang in making a girl happy lor...so sweet~~ trembles...haha... and have been looping his song "superwoman" frm jo's blog haha... while i was typing this entry of mine.
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back to my dream... suddenly, while watching tv in the comfort of a living rm(dunnoe who's hse), there's was smoke coming in frm the outside...those really dark/grey smokE? ya.. then rushed to close the windows n such. then heard a loud explosion frm dunnoe where... went ard with my room mate to search for the source of explosion... mm.. then found then it came frm the explosion of a volcano like landmark quite far away...but there were really dark fumes? and the glowing liquid, just like the hot lava flowing out frm the opening of the volcano... mm.. ok..then slowly it finally quietened down. then ok.. went to sleep since it's late.


then the next day..when we were eating breakfast in the living room watching TV, there was a sudden rain and huge torrents of water came crashing towards our blocks...then we rushed to close the windows (which are similar to those in my hse?)..but slightly different in the design below. where there was a breadth of empty space between the windows n the wall(a drain sort of..n lol...the window sill wasn't sealed even when we close the windows. then the waters came crashing against our block( it’s really like those tsunami type of huge waves? Then we started to see ppl floating and hanging on to the railings just below our bottom windows… because miraculously the water level just never seem to go above the window sills…but as u noe there are waves coming in…so the water gushes into our hses( not so quickly..) so we went to get thick towels n try to seal up these empty spaces to our best ability. and the people were still struggling to stay afloat outside our windows...quite horrifying...( just like u were viewing a tsunami scene on ur tv..just tt it's live telecast)..and with the heavy rain..soon..many give up and let go................


then soon..the rain let off and the water levels subsided. but the waters were still like 3 meters deep and we cld see alot of dead bodies floating abt.( i wld call it MANG MU CHUANG YI in chinese)....it was so horrifying.... we were scared.
and some more... the people tt were still hanging on the railings...we managed to open the windows and pulled them in. then after much calming down...we were looking at the remnants outside. and some1 commented something abt a valley shape....(V shape) between the blks of hses...then dunnoe wat abt water speed...then we did something cruel...cos there was 1 dead guy lying on top of the railings against our window..we pushed him down into the decreasing water levels below....


*(a small sideline...the weirdest part of the dream tt it all happened only in the living room. the front part of the hse and not the other side of the hse. how illogical)


then nightfall came. as we slowly crawled into our beds ( me and my rm mate sleeping in the same bedroom. it was quite posh.... with beautiful glass window plates tt are full of openings) we cldnt slp and started chatting when we were lying in our individual beds. and suddenly..the whole bed was shaking...and everything else was shaking..it was like earthquake??! we were so scared and screamed till the shaking subsided as soon as it came. then we started worrying abt tsunami effects tt happened on the 26th dec 2004.....


then slowly, daylight came....and some1(a guy came to visit us?) LOLZ.. then we were like chatting then we start to see the water levels rising again before our eyes... we went to close all the windows...and me and some1 went to seal up all the openings in my bedroom windows.. i rmb seeing a tree in front of the windows..but luckily this time the water didnt rise as high...and every1 wasnt tt scared...


then .... ding! i woke up suddenly in the darkness of my own room. tt's the end of my dream. i was frightened stiff actually... some1 give me some comments on this dream?