there's a belief that i hold on to. that is

"long lasting friendship can only b built outside of sch time,not during sch or training"
which has proven me thus far true. only with the talk cock, and just plainly doing nothing sessions that i had with my sec sch friends did i have a bunch of long lasting friendship (with maintenance of course)

and in my jc and uni times.
just being classmates, and sch mates, and team mates doesnt bring the personal friendship relationship far.
as like how i am disappointed/sad/feeling something is missing with my batch of girls in db. like. everyone is just sch training home. (i mean home is very impt, i cant fault them on that) but there's always time to chill out and talk cock abit. but we dont ever have such a thing for a long period of time. no. i can say precisely no. and i m sad abt it.
i foresee graduating from SMU without a grp of real friends. no long lasting friendships with these grps of girls. our friendship is only contextual, only during that part of the time when we are all in one organization per se. i just dont see it going far.

hasnt it been so for all of us. we only noe some ppl as far as we are in the same organization. and nth else more personal. say in the coming work life. who dare say that they will be very good friends with their colleagues personally. i wonder.

sorry if i have offended anyone, but that's what i think.

sigh.
i guess this is pure jealousy of my friends, returning to barclays and getting interview calls from UBS/MS when me, this poor chui person in the same uni has not gotten a single interview even from the Big 4s, has gotten tons of rejections for application, and still jobless for the summer.
M i really that chui? :(
+
NO MACAU TRIP
+
NO HK holidays
+
haven hear from OIR for my exchange results when my friends already got theirs.

all chui things come together. like wtfish.

so down so down.

so wanna drink it all down
and forget about all these chuiness
and wish that there was somewhere out there that there will be no studies, no competition, and whatsoever, and just pure fun, pure pure fun.
DREAM ON!

these few weeks, some how, bon jovi songs keep playing in my head :) added them to my phone. and finally some sound comes out from my silent world (cos my computer sound system chui! i need to send it for repair at ACER before the warranty expire siaaaaa) (but it's so GOD DAMN FAR AWAY in the FARAWAY WEST!)

An angels smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passions a prison, you cant break free

Youre a loaded gun
Theres nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Chorus:
Shot through the heart
And youre to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boys dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

Youre a loaded gun
Theres nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Chorus

my first mambo song with hand signals lesson during FTB 07 ;p

Whispering our goodbyes, waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby in the summer rain
I can hear him saying nothing will change
Come dance with me baby in the summer rain
I remember the rain on our skin
And his kisses hotter than the Santa Ana winds
Whispering our goodbyes, waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby in the summer rain

I remember laughing till we almost cried
There at the station that night
I remember looking in his eyes

CHORUS
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain

I can hear the whistle, military train
I was dancing with my baby, in the summer rain
I can hear him saying Ooh love is strange
Come dance with me baby, in the summer rain
I remember the rain pouring down
And we poured our hearts out as the train pulled out
I can see my baby waving from the train
It was the last time that I saw him in the summer rain

CHORUS
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain

Every time I see the lightening
Every time I hear the thunder
Every time I close the window
When this happens in summer
Oh the night is so inviting
I can feel that you are so close
I can feel you when the wind blows
Blows right through my heart

CHORUS
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Every night and every day now
Though I know you've gone anyway
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain

Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain

i just need to sleep i just need to sleep i just need to sleep...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
jiamin u suck!

mmm.. this week is supposedly BREAK week
but this is what i did
sat: training. then mugged. the whole day =) most efficient
sun: stayed at home. wrong choice. totally slacked
mon: studied in sch :)
tues: strategy meeting. haha. i really like this bunch of seniors of mine. they are damn funny and good to work with :) but though sometimes i cannot click with them. but it's ok :) then it was training myself, seeing the guys do their evaluation, and then more mugging.
wed: wasted the whole day at jeanie's house playing guitar HEROES. haha. i totally sucked at it. seriously. where has my musically talents flew to? :( supposed to go clubbing at night with seah. BUT ganna pang seh again. sigh.
thurs: training and more mugging. but with the juniors ard who hardly studied. how do i study. the most efficient hours were after they left. haha.
fri: mug mug + a cock phone call from some ppl at sentosa + networking session organized by ocs with richard. quite a good affair to attend :)
sat: waikikiiiiiiii. although i said i lao jiao shldnt do things. but all the cai niaos dunnoe 死到哪里去了。 waliew. end up i did half a day of lines men. and got baked. only 2 guys tt offered to help was chian and terrence. haha. wth man. but otherwise, the food was not bad (cos i paid for it), bought lik 5 cupcakes from marmalade pantry home for breakfasT! and spent the night with chaota and a few of the org comm girls listening to the band. and mugged for 2 hours at delifrance while the rain came. tsk tsk.
sun: mug. but i spent the first 2 hours reading 2 lines and sleeping for 30mins -__- totally chui!!!

~~~
I NEED A NEW ALARM CLOCK. like seriously. my phone doesnt serve me well anymore. no vibration. i need it! btw i changed to a samsung omnia :) (besides screwing up my contacts, and messaging style, and the camera kinda of sux though it's a 5 mgp, it's fine. haha

and i realized yest that i got sunburnt.:( pain pain pain.

~~~
there was a very interesting conversation tt went on betw me and my friend not so long ago..

u noe, girls always have some friends whom u think are really good catch, which u think can develop further into a relationship but it doesnt happen. but nevertheless, he's still ur good friend kind..the v gum kind..

haha. well at least for me la.

just this particular day, on msn, this guy friend of mine came to ask me..
Friend: y ur nickname so narcisstic. -> 爱自己
me: haha. cos 我没人爱。
friend: what nonsense..! haha.. u got like any guys in smu not. tell me leh.. we so gum liao
me: -_-'|| cannot tell u larrrr (actually he's one of the guys that i think is really a good catch ;p )
friend: so secretive.. haha. at least tell me what kind of guy u like?
me: guys that are nice in general, abit shy, but are quite deep thinkers (but not too much)
friend: like me?
friend: as u noe, i think quite deep, n i am quite nice, a bit disturbing ok, but nice in general rite, n i can act shy oso..
friend: wahh.. dont fall in lurve with me. hahahahha.
me: haha -__- WTH. act shy not counted ;p

but honestly, i was describing him ;p hahah.*slaps myself*
aye. but i dont think anything positive will come up though. our characters can only last us as good friends i guess :)
just as with many other guys that i think is my cup of tea, but they are either attached, or just too far away.
o wells!
wake up ur idea jiamin! haha.

i stil have 2 more (disgusting) mid terms to go through. then chiong 2 remaining projects. and 3 exams (make it 4) and then my 3rd summer in smu is here! =D